A diamond in the rough

This week marks the 60th anniversary of the accession of Queen Elizabeth II to the throne; her Diamond Jubilee. Though I wouldn’t particularly call myself a Royalist, I am still very much in awe of this gentile woman, who has ruled England for over half a century with unequivocable grace and determination.

Elizabeth took to the throne following the death of her father, King George VI, in 1952. She was just 25 years old. Imagine that. Waking up one morning, gazing out of the window and thinking to yourself all that I see is mine.

It is a thought at once both inspiring and terrifying. But the truth of the matter is, we are all just as powerful. Ok, so no, you don’t have a whole country to preside over, but you are the ruler of your own world.

We are all in charge of the life we live.

Yes, it’s big and scary and confusing, but it’s ours.

Tell me, what is it you plan to do
with your one wild and precious life?
- Mary Oliver

For the first 27 years of my life, I had mistakenly lived in a world that I had merely happened upon; it was not a world of my own design. I just kind of made do with what I had and never really bothered to question myself.

I ignored my inner voice time and time again.

I was afraid to be the ruler of my own life, so I let other people rule it for me… namely, the guy I was in a relationship with at the time.

Now, I would like to say that one day I simply woke up and realised things had to change. That did happen, but not before my then boyfriend decided to leave me after nine years together for another woman.

Ouch.

It was the bullet that fired a much needed shot up my arse. I was hurt and bleeding and broken. I was at rock bottom.

So what’s a girl to do?

Accede to the throne. Or take control of your life.

I started listening to myself. I had always had these twinges of yearning, these moments of intuition, but ignored them for most of my 20s. I knew my ex was cheating on me but ignored the signs. I knew I should have ended things years ago but was afraid to be alone. There were so many moments, so many wrong decisions…

The important thing is not to dwell on the past, but to learn from it.

Now I make a point of checking in with myself daily. I listen to my inner voice and trust my intuition. It is the very same voice that has lead me to where I now find myself, debt free and on the edge of the adventure of a lifetime.

Today I emailed a friend and asked:

Do you ever just have that feeling of KNOWING inside of you? That complete and utter certainty that, though you don’t know exactly WHAT is going to happen, you feel with every cell in your being that it is going to be AMAZING?

That is truly how I feel about my life now. I have a light inside of me that cannot be diminished. Just like Queen Elizabeth II, I am the ruler of my own world, and I intend to use my power to lead a life worth living. No, I don’t expect to have my face printed on money, but I would like to leave my mark on this world in a way that enriches the lives of others, and leaves me with a sense of pride.

I will start by always being honest, both with myself and everyone else.

There is so much beauty in truth. Being true to myself has been my greatest achievement, and the single most defining moment of my life

No one is more capable of ruling your own life than you are. No matter how long it might take for you to feel at ease in your own skin, the process will be worth it.

And remember, a diamond is just a lump of coal until, with time and great effort, it’s true beauty is revealed.

(Image: Arnwald)